Games on the whole are all pretty weird but we, as gamers, just take
this on board without really questioning them. We never wonder where
Sonic puts all those rings when he’s quite clearly naked (possibly in
his oversized socks?) or indeed why he’s even naked at all!! Nope it’s
Sonic, he must have a reason and just hasn’t felt the need to explain
himself! The following 5 games will make you think though, as they are
just TOO bizarre to sit comfortably with our sense of what’s
acceptable, observe:
5. Monster Party (NES)
The weirdness kicks in right from the off in Monster Party, the game
starts with a cut scene of the main character, Mark, walking home from
a baseball match with his bat over his shoulder. A gargoyle named Bert
(as all the famous gargoyles are) spots him and whisks him away to his
home planet charging him with killing all the invading monsters with
his trusty bat.
It’s the bosses that really steal the show here with one being a
giant spider lying on the floor, you enter the room and he shouts
“Sorry I’m already dead” and that’s it, you win!! Result!! Others
include 2 zombies who dance for 30 seconds then collapse and die, a
bouncing shrimp and a huge cat that throws small kittens at you.
4. Chou Aniki (PC Engine)
Described as the most homoerotic game ever, Chou Aniki, meaning
“Super Big Brother”, could be described as a one on one beat ‘em up
although all the characters float. The series is hugely popular in
Japan and the highlights include musclebound men in Speedos firing
white liquid from holes in their head, lesbians, a boss fight against a
naked man in a bathtub and the temple of Gay Pleasure!
There really is no other way to describe it than 100% gay. Amazingly
enough while the original never made it out of its home country it has
recently been released on the Virtual Console, just don’t let anybody
catch you playing it.
3. Sexy Paridous (PSOne)
Another sexually explicit game though this ones a bit more for the
straight people out there, Sexy Paridous features bunny sisters Hikaru
and Akane and is full to the brim of Japanese Hentai nudity.
The game plays pretty much the same as any other Paridous bar the
inclusion of huge naked Lady’s as bosses! Nice!! This, the 4th game in
the series, is my favourite but that’s probably because I’m a bit of a
pervert and you’ll find it on the recently released PSP title Paridous
Portable. Like Chou Aniki you would have a bit of explaining to do if
you were found playing this alone.
2. Bible Adventures (NES)
It’s my opinion that there just isn’t enough games based on the good
book and developer The Wisdom Tree must have felt the same when they
decided to make this.Part of a series that included must have titles
such as Super 3D Noahs Ark, Sunday Funday and the King of Kings.
Bible Adventures saw you take part in various biblical stories such
as loading the animals onto the ark, battling against Goliath and
transporting the baby Moses down the Nile. Possibly the best part was
the ability to throw Moses in the river and watch him slowly drown.
1. Takeshi’s Challenge (Famicom)
No doubt I’ll get a few comments along the lines of “This game
should have been in it etc.” but there can be no debate that this truly
is the weirdest game of all time. Developed by Japanese film director
Beat Takeshi the title screen proudly displays the words “This game was
made by a man who hates video games”! He obviously hates the people
that play them as well as not only is it the weirdest it quite possibly
the hardest!
Different parts of the game require you to sing into the built in
microphone in the Famicom’s controller, another tells you to do nothing
for 60 minutes and another to avoid getting divorced. All this leads to
a boss that needs to be hit twenty thousand times to die which takes
roughly three hours. Truly, truly bizarre.
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