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Ten days ago, on Friday, June 13th, 2008, I had the extraordinary
privilege of talking to George Carlin. As far as I know it was the last
in-depth interview he gave before he passed away yesterday at age 71.
Originally it was slated to run as a 350-word Q&A on the back page
of Psychology Today. But I was so excited to talk to him—and he was so
generous with his time—that I just kept on going. By the end I had over
14,000 words.

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George Carlin was a counter-culture goliath, a witty and intelligent
comedian who, at age 71, was still writing hilarious and pertinent
comedy bits.

He died of a heart attack over the weekend, silencing a voice that had no qualms sharing an opinion.

Everyone recognizes Carlin for his “Seven Dirty Words You Can Never
Say On Television” bit, a routine that actually got him arrested in the
early ’70s.

But Carlin’s brilliant and acerbic mind frequently turned to sports.

One of his bits focused on the differences between baseball and
football; in particular, baseball’s peaceful ways compared to
football’s warlike temperament.

“Baseball is played on the diamond, in a park, the baseball
park! Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium sometimes called
Soldier Field or War Memorial Stadium.

“Baseball starts in the Spring, the season of new life! Football begins in the Fall when everything is dying.

“In football, the object is for the quarterback, also known as
the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling
the defense by hitting receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the
blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long
bombs, he marches his troops in to enemy territory, balancing this
aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the
forward wall of the enemy’s defensive line.

“In baseball, the object is to go home and be safe! I hope I’ll be safe at home!”

No one has summed up the two sports any better.

Carlin also unleashed his wry humor on hockey and, in particular, why he believed hockey could not be considered a sport.

“People think hockey is a sport. It’s not. Hockey is three
activities taking place at the same time: ice skating, fooling around
with a puck, and beating the sh*t out of somebody. If these guys had
more brains than teeth, they’d do these things one at a time. First go
ice-skating, then fool around with a puck, then you go to the bar and
beat the sh*t out of somebody. The day would last longer, and these
guys would have a lot more fun.

“Another reason why hockey isn’t a sport is that it’s not played
with a ball. Anything not played with a ball can’t be a sport. The only
other place you’ll find a puck is in the urinal to control the smell in
the bathroom.”

Carlin was a fan of basketball, the ballet of the game and that the
players are close enough to the crowd. He also enjoyed March Madness,
but, as he explained in an interview with ESPN.com about four years
ago, probably not for the same reasons most others enjoy it.

“I like people under pressure.

“To me the most fascinating thing is the losing locker room. I
just love watching those guys because they can’t handle it. There is so
much pressure and they bring it on themselves. I love people failing in
public. I think that’s magnificent. The thing I like best about the
NCAA: 64 losers. I savor that. The games are great. There is so much at
stake. It’s fun for me to watch the drama.”

To transcribe and analyze every Carlin routine that focused on
sports would take far too much time, but, love him or hate him, he
stayed true to his dogma—that every comedian should find the line and
then deliberately cross it.

Even at 71, with a history of heart problems, Carlin was still
performing as recently as last weekend. His premature departure has
deprived us of a great voice and a keen observer of not only the world
around us but the sporting world, as well.

So, when you’re standing at the urinal today, think of George Carlin. He’d probably like that.

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If you’re been around the net for as long as I have, you would know that your domain name is VERY imporant. I’ve spend as much as 2 month to pick a good domain for the projects that I’m working on. I think someone forgot to send the memo to the guys who were responsible for the following 10 worst URLs!

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